blue

by the arc
de
triomphe
the nightlife swirls
around me

i pause for
a moment

and suddenly
i
am
uniquely

alone.


the couples
kiss
so tenderly,
bathing in
this city's
romance

the families
laugh
as they
buzz from
photo
to photo

the tourist buses
empty their loads
of laughter

the champs
d'élysées
draws an arrow
straight through
me
now


and in its eye
i am suddenly
faced with
all the roads
that pour in to
this
moment


i think of
monet's lillies
surrounding me
at la musée de
l'orangerie



i think of
chagall
and his lovers

i think of
klimt


i think of all the beautiful
people,
lost in their
moments
around me

i think all the way
back
even
to diebenkorn

and the little
shy
awkward
insecure
anxious
outsider

who thought he could emulate




and i miss
my special,
personal
art critique



tears swell
in memory of
all the present moments
that could
have
been








i look up

this sculpture
of this great man,
protecting the weak, the old,
the women and the children

they cling on to his legs,
as if they were boughs
of a great tree
that will shield them
from some wind
of wrath




will i ever step foot
in such
a man's
shadow?











on the metro
now

the eiffel tower

passes by me

emboldened in its
gold attire

it taunts me,

asking what greatness

will lie in my
wake

question mark.


slowly,

as i climb steps,
and my headphones cry
guitars

slowly,

the muscles fill up
again,

the thighs move,
the calves push
forward


the neurons don a new
moment's skin

i am
part of some
beat


again.