an exciting day

today so far...

- waking up, trying to deny the fact that i had to get out of bed, remembering what's been going on the past few weeks, struggling with the reality that i was two billion miles from home in a foreign land, trying to go back to sleep in between every 9 minutes of my phone alarm going off: 2 units of time.
- breakfast panini (with guacomole, cherry tomatoes and ham), 'cup o tea', shower and shave, and getting dressed: 1 unit (believe it or not!).
- catching the double decker to work in the drizzling rain with bloc party playing loud on my earphones: 1 unit.
- getting lost in king's hospital trying to find liaison psychiatry department: 1 unit.
- getting very warm and enthusiastic welcome from liaison psych dept, sorting out a timetable, slotting me in on the various clinics (chronic fatigue syndrome, neuropsychiatry, endocrinology & diabetes, perinatal, amongst many others), having two cups of coffee: 2 units.
- talking to consultant about her elective in australia, her initial dream of being a tropical medicine doc in a third world country before incidentally discovering that she has complement deficiency, her choosing psychiatry and what she loves about it - the uniqueness of each patient, their life stories, their hopes and dreams, the new and exciting research, using one's mind, learning about oneself as well, and the significance of psychological problems and the importance of treating mental illness, and getting thoroughly inspired by this conversation: 1 unit.
- attending fascinating lecture by an eminent professor and researcher, professor ming t tsuang: 2 units. he's from taiwan (perhaps tracy's father may know him?), did research here at the institute of psychiatry, and then went to the states where he has done lots of groundbreaking research on psychosis and schizophrenia. thoroughly stimulating lecture on his research to date, the genetics of schizophrenia, and the interesting concept of 'schizotaxia' - where there are neuropsychological deficits and negative symptoms - in first-degree relatives of people with schizophrenia (all of them, even those with no positive symptoms), and *before* the prodrome and onset of schizophrenia. fascinating concepts that are inspiring research that may lead to a better understanding of the polygenic predispositions or determinants of schizophrenia, the schizophrenia blood test (!), and identifying schizotaxia and the phase before the prodrome, thus being able to 'prevent' schizophrenia.
- lunch of vegetable korma and rice: 1 unit and £2.50.
- seeing patient on ward with end-stage multiple sclerosis: 1 unit.
- organising to attend ward rounds on one of the inpatient wards for the next few weeks: 1 unit.

now i'm here at the library. pondering which book of mine to read - 'the history of psychiatry', 'freud for beginners', oliver sacks' 'the man who mistook his wife for a hat', anthony storr's 'solitude: a return to the self'.

i know, i know. you guys must want to hassle the heck out of me after all this! but really - it has been such an inspiring day! this place is amazing. the people, the research, the passion. i love psychiatric people - they're so passionate and so welcoming, and - human. (i'm generalising of course, and there are lots of other people like this in other specialties, apart from orthopaedics). i love the research and i want to do my own (i can see hoon's smug expression right now!), i love the passion people have for psychiatry, i love how people realise the reality of mental illness, its significance, and the importance of treating it. i love the mind, the fundamental centre of our existence and our place in the world and universe, really.

oh. and i love london. it's a huge city. one can really slip into complete anonymity here! people always talk about how londoners don't do small talk with strangers, don't smile and say 'hi' on the streets like in nz, and how the underground, no matter how busy, is always eerily quiet. but it's nice, in a way, to be anonymous. to quietly go about your day, filling up your units with various activities. it's nice just slipping off the side and watching this huge organism pulse to its daily rhythms.

yesterday evening i caught up with matthew. we had japanese food and asahi (ahhhhh!), walked around town (trafalgar square, piccadilly circus, big ben and the houses of parliament, the river thames and london bridge all in one evening, without even trying!), had a few ciders at a bar on a boat parked on the side of the thames (very cool!), and talked about life love politics music and current affairs. he's gone through a rough time in the last year, and i was embarassed to realise that i never picked up on the signs, and was never really there for him.

so what shall i do this evening? catch the train into the city centre, go to covent garden and get caught up in the street events, the crowds of people, the sights and sounds, have dinner and a drink, watch a movie or a play, go to trafalgar square and ask nelson what he thinks the meaning of life is, sit under the giant neon lights in piccadilly square and watch the crowds of people go buy, or try my luck at some solo clubbing action? actually the weather's pretty miserable, so i think i may just have a quiet night - maybe a bottle of wine and dinner at the wine garden near my house, or just a beer and a frozen meal (the frozen meals here are excellent! and cheap!) at home?

dha