i am still tom hanks
i am tom hanks. this time at the end of castaway. standing at the crossroads. there is silence and i am alone, apart from the wind and the slow bears of thoughts. where do i go? where do these roads lead, as they stretch to infinity? in my mind i smell a perfume. a thousand memories wash over me. in the distance - a blurred hint of movement. a red pick up truck. to take me away, somewhere.
posted by SuperDha at 2:46 am
4 Comments:
Dude.
U r not Tom hanks.
I will now prove to u why... u r indeed not Tom Haks. I mean not Tom Hanks.
So- lets start.
"The theorem that Dhamidhu is not, indeed, Tome Hanks can be proven in a number of different and fascinating ways. Let us start wit a few intruductory points that will establish this beyond any reasonable doubt-
1)Tom Hanks is a pasty white dude. Dha is aint.
2)Tom Hanks is Aaaamerrrrican. Dha is not.
3)Tom hanks is fugly. and did i mention he is white?
4)Tom Hanks has made a lot of shitty movies over the years. Dha has not.
5)Tom Hanks has been sleepless in Seattle. Dha is not in seattle. Dha is in London. And i dont know whther he is sleepless. But i am in seattle. and i am sleepless. and thus i have more of a claim on Tom hanks than Dha. Thus - get ur dirrty hands away form Tom. $10 he is all miiiiine!
6)Tom Hanks' best friend is a volleyball. Dude, Dha has lots of great friends. And although some as round as a volleyball, they are indeed much heavier than any ball. Although u can describe them as 'ballsy'.
7)Dha does not have a red pick up.
8)Dha used to have a Supra. But now he has a Bimmmer.
9)Dha has an iPod. Tom Hanks does not have an iPod. I checked.
10)Dha is on an island where it is called and its champagne raining down from the sky. Tom hanks was on a sunny resort island. with palm trees and a volleyball (see above).
Thus it is proven that Dha is indeed not Tom Hanks.
QID"
Dude.
It must be hard... I am sorry that all i can do from this far is write u random emails... that will hopefully cheer u up..
Stay strong. U r not alone in the world. Ur red pick u p is full of great friends and paryt music. and it is going to the better place (i checked the directions. Twice.)
Look after urself in the London-don-don-don town.
(Have u checked out Fergie's London bridge yet? Did it go down?)
hahahahahahahahahahaha!!
oh ilia my friend. what a truly legendary post. really! i think it's right up there with the 'tiger uppercut buyashaka' posts!
i can't stop laughing. and giggling. and squirming in my seat here in the library, in sheer delight.
i still reckon tom hanks is mine. biatch. i started assuming his identity first. so suck it.
but on a more serious note.
do-re-mi-so-daaaa!
ok an even more serious note then.
thank you for your emails and posts ilia - not only are they hilarious but they keep me going, seriously! totally cheer-upping stuff! keep it up like priapism!
take it ezy like japanezy,
and look into buying a red pick up truck on trademe!
Hayabusa Boom Boom!!!
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