death by food?

ooof...

is it possible to die due to eating too much? i am coming to feel that it is actually possible.

but... what a way to die!

so... what do i like so much about sri lanka?

i actually love the heat and the humidity. i love the monsoons. this is rain as it should be. none of this fluffing around with drizzle-here drizzle-there miserableness. here the clouds come over, it rains like crazy, and then it stops. the rains also bring a nice cool breeze. and the heat quickly dries the remnants of the rains.

i love the bonkers driving. single lanes somehow become five lanes. no one gives way but everyone gives way because you just turn or cross roads or whatever when you want to. a near-accident or close-call occurs every few seconds. one drives with one hand on the gear stick, the other on the horn, and occasionally one of the above two hands may be used for steering. no one stops for pedestrians. i love the 'three-wheelers' or 'tri-shaws', the tiny three-wheeled taxis. they just whiz around like little manic ants. if there's a traffic jam, they just conveniently use the pavement. people overtake everywhere and any time, on bends, on single lane roads, in front of oncoming cars etc.

i love the people. i love talking in sinhalese, despite it being completely broken and retarded. i feel a strange sense of - home. even though i wasn't born here, and i only lived here for five years in my early teens, i feel like i am with - my people. it's a strange feeling. i never really feel or felt completely at home anywhere - africa, new zealand. i always felt like an outsider. and i still feel like an outsider here, with my grossly different ways, my poor language skills, my clothes and mannerisms etc. but i feel a sense of 'camaraderie', a sense of relation and familiarity with my 'fellow people' (for want of better descriptive words), that i just can't feel in new zealand. it's a nice feeling. a strange, unfamiliar feeling.

i love my family here. my aunt (dad's older sister), her husband, her son, my paternal grandmother, and of course the amazing, amazing cook sharifa (who not only makes out-of-this-world food, but also has a personality five times the average size), and her son-in-law lal. we have the craziest times, the most hilarious conversations. i love how everyone can laugh. freely, fully, completely. i love how everything in sinhalese has a distinct hilarious quality that english just can't capture. i love meeting other sri lankan guys, and girls. i love how people like the cook, servants and drivers and so on, become part of the family, hanging out and talking and chatting, eating and drinking together with 'us'. i love how everyone is so relaxed. stress is something that may flicker in one's mind every now and then, perhaps once a month, in between eating breakfast-mid-morning tea-lunch-tea-dinner-supper and drinking cups of tea and sleeping. fantastic. i love talking to them all, and even more, just listening. to their stories. their tales, their histories. it's fascinating to learn of the boughs, the limbs and trunks, the roots that bore your little leaf. more and more i am becoming a family man. i love these new feelings, these new strengths. from a sort of a lone ranger, i can now face the new life ahead of me with the strength of a wonderfully strong family. i love the quality of my family, their honesty, integrity, virtuosity. their hearts are truly golden (eek, all these cliches coming out of my cynical, sarcastic mouth! oh the horrors that happiness brings)! and it's inspiring.

i love my grandmother! she's so healthy at the age of eighty-six (touch wood). not a single tablet apart from multivitamins, and not a health concern apart from corns. she's so witty and funny as well, completely with it (more with it than us, at times)! one hilarious moment:

cousin walks into my room: hello, yeeees?
me: hello, yeees?
cousin: what shall the doctor's medicine be?
me: what do we have?
cousin: vodka, gin, arrack, bourbon -
grandma, shouting from other side of house: and water!

i love walking around, soaking the sights and smells and sounds. i love the hustle-bustle of the markets and the little shops. i love how food is everywhere! there are probably more foodstalls and food shops than other shops! and what a variety of food - it's fantastic! i love how taste reigns supreme over health or such finicky things as calories!

i love seeing things of another era, the hallways of my past. 'carnival' ice-cream house with its exotic flavours such as durian ice cream (actually super yummy!). 'the fab' pastry shops with its divine apple pies. 'perera and sons' bakers. 'cargills' and 'keells' supermarkets.

i love how, despite the awful war and conflicts, sri lanka is developing nicely. there doesn't seem to be the same poverty that existed before. the infastructure is booming. there is more money everywhere. there are supermarkets everywhere. the mobile networks and internet services here are cheaper and better than new zealand! 5Mbps and unlimited data internet for less than NZ$20 per month, anyone?

i don't love the war, this war of attrition and tit-for-tat, an eye-for-an-eye atrocities. i don't love how there will be no end unless both sides decide to compromise. i don't love how it continues just like how so many atrocities in the world continue, because of such things as the arms industry and the whole military-industrial complex that supports so much of the glory of 'the brave new world'. i don't love corruption and greed. i don't love how it's the little person, always the little person, who suffers the most. can peace talks ever solve things? can war? can democracy? can proper international support? can those of us overseas do more? what?

i don't love how i don't have my camera charger. i don't love how i have not taken any photos yet. i don't love how i still haven't bought another camera.

oh, did i mention that i absolutely love the food? maybe i will need to talk more about the food in another blog.

what a trip of a lifetime this is turning out to be!

big bellies and monsoons

sri lanka now. sans luggage.

sri lanka is - amazing. i am elated to be back! the humidity hit me like a heavy egyptian rug that's just been drenched in dense oil.

the palm trees. the heat. the monsoon rains. the sounds. the smells. the insane, absolutely bonkers driving. the people. the food! oh my goodness! the FOOD!

so far... i repeat - only so far:

- string hoppers, chicken curry, potato curry, pol sambol
- kiribath, potato and spinach curry, lunu miris
- yellow rice, chicken curry (made in traditional clay pots), potatos, ambarella, cashew curry, eggplants, cucumber salad
- pancakes with juggery and hakaru
- copious amounts of tea
- love cake
- seafood rice
- copious amounts of portello, arrack, vodka, whisky, gin
- hoppers and egghoppers, fish curry

so much to look forward to still! and a pot belly. twice daily workouts will be required upon return to auckland.

i am loving being here with my cousin and his family, and my grandmother. we are having so much fun! i don't think i have laughed this much in such a long time! visited some old aunties and uncles today - was so nice seeing them after over a decade!

more updates later. and hopefully can buy a charger for my camera so can take some photos! what a shame if i can't take any photos!

last day in london

internet cafe. amazingly inflated prices. few seconds to type.

prague. excellent. fantastic city. architecture. history. beauty. autumn leaves. thousands of photos. crazy times.

london now. rain. cold. miserable. and no baggage. got 'misplaced'. irritating. no - f*cking irritating. no toiletries, clean clothes, phone charger. no undies. credit card maxed out. somehow. somehow i have spent my millions.

flying to sri lanka this evening. excited. but not excited about travelling in smelly, damp clothes. unless a miracle occurs and alitalia (stupid people who are in charge of my baggage) get over their italian accents and italian way of never answering the phone or any of my questions, and find my bag, contact me, and courier it to me.

will talk later.

p.s. i know ilia. i hate how my future, our future has completely been swept away, in an instant. i am trying not to think about it because every time i do i get depressed. but it will hit me like a tonne of bricks (for want of a better simile) when i get home, no doubt. talk to you soon, polar bear.

damn alcohol

damn it.

this alcohol was meant to help me forget. it was meant to make the thoughts go away.

but this time it has worked in the other way that it works - by making me go down, down down.

now the waves of the past wash over me. and i cannot lift my head up. over and over again they sweep. and i cannot escape.

years and years of thoughts, regrets and unrequited dreams, hopes and loves swarm around me, the merciless bastards.

and so i must keep drinking, until the locusts finally sleep.

p.s. still haven't seen prague properly. got properly pasted last night and thus slept the whole of today. had an awful czech meal yesterdat (czech food is so god darn bland!!!), but complemented it nicely with a spicy pakistani meal today.
p.p.s. sorry been outta touch ilia. i know we need to talk. a lot of stuff has been happening. so much has been changing. and not many of the changes have been for the better. we definitely need a cathartic session.... sigh. i hope you're doing ok. it must not be easy, being alone in a big see-att-el, and then hearing about all these changes. but not much longer to go ay. sigh. our palaces of the future seem so stupid, ridiculous, naive, now. and the sad thing is i don't know how to build palaces any more.
p.p.p.s. i am writing poetry again. at least that's something.
p.p.p.p.s. hoon, wish you were here man. it's just not the same without His Randomness. all the fantastic memories come drifting back now, of our insane europe trip, the trip of the millennium. i wish we could recreate it!
p.p.p.p.p.s. mush respect to you, ilia, for going to electric six. i hope you took photos. and you have to tell us *all* about it when we meet up again, as i am supremely jealous!
p.p.p.p.p.p.s. does anyone know exactly what kind of swamp we are landing in when we start working (i.e. the whole rda, meca, dhb fiasco)?

final few days in london...

argh! there's still so much to do! so much to see and listen to and eat and smell and taste and touch! but not enough time!

o what am i to do, jeeves?

london eye planetarium buckingham palace hyde park windsor palace portrait gallery spitalfield's market st. paul's cathedral tower of london thames river cruise heaven night club jazz bars british museum present shopping

arrg! and the list goes on!

where did the last five weeks go? what happened? where have the flowers gone, penelope?

anyway.

flying to prague tomorrow (friday) morning. should be an excellent weekend! returning tuesday afternoon. then fly to sri lanka on wednesday evening with my cousin. staying with dad's family. it's been 10 years since i've been to sri lanka. so much will have changed, but so much will come flooding back to me! i can't wait! then fly out on 3 nov to hong kong. two nights there pigging out on food and generally living it up, and then back to good ol' noo zhelund on 6 nov!

ok must rush.

must.

do.

london.

in.

one.

day.


p.s. thanks for making this blog so supremely fantastic. i couldn't have done it without you guys.
p.p.s. many pics to show. but no time to put up!
p.p.p.s. can't wait to come back home!

pics of saint francis hospital

i cannot believe i did not put these pics up earlier!


doing ward rounds, with the nurse/interpreter


doing a lumbar puncture!


here with one of my favourite patients, and my 'favourite' nurse (the one who was adamant that i prescribe patients the "appetite pill" (iron tabs))


i am a bit gutted that i took these pics in my last week, when for various reasons the wards were actually a lot emptier than they usually were. this above is the male medical ward. imagine it completely full and overflowing, with patients sleeping on mattresses on the floor as well. the sad thing is that the male medical ward was empty because a lot of patients died in the previous few days.



the female medical ward. this ward was also empty, but mostly because we managed to discharge a lot of patients.


the 'outer' female medical ward. the male ward has an 'outer' ward as well. patients with confirmed or suspected tuberculosis are placed in the 'outer' wards, to reduce the risk of infecting other patients, most of whom are immunocompromised.

the return of fascination

this week has sparked my fascination with all things psychiatric and psychological again. sitting in on assessments, interpreting in psychoanalytic ways, and really focussing on transference and the patient-doctor relationship is fascinating. where else can you spend all your time frolicking with ethereal matters of the mind? where else can you learn about yourself as much as you learn about your patients? most people struggle with the fluffiness, the abstractness, the lack of clear demarcations between 'black and white' in psychiatry. but i find it fascinating, intruiging, a unique challenge. every day you have to think. think about philosophical and ethical issues. think about normality. think about what it means for 'me' to be, 'me'. i find the fact that all things mental lie on a spectrum, rather than as discrete entities, very intruiging and challenging . in a good way. seeing gross pathological states of being, as well as seeing some of the more subtle personality disorders, gives me much to reflect on. how do i think and behave? how do i feel, and react? what is the atmoshphere like in my mind, and what subconscious tides move me up and down? what moons of the past sit in my sky, and how do they influence these tides?

anyway. enough of that manic blurb. time for a

break.

- tuesday watched a play called 'spamalot' which is a musical comedy based on the monty python movie 'the holy grail'. absolutely, completely, hilarious! nirosh you would have loved it! we have to watch *all* the monty python movies, and some of them again and again!
- tuesday night clubbing madness. went to our favourite r&b hang out 'metra'. lots of exotic shots, good ol' beer and spirits (and i'm slowly getting used to whisky on the rocks, yeek), and of course a lot of drunken dancing to fantastic music. metra gets so packed with people, even on random nights like tuesday! crazy!
- visited the oldest operating theatre in london, which is now a museum. very interesting, in a make-you-shiver-and-shudder kind of way.
- watched another play called 'vegemite'. about australians who come over to live & work in the uk. quite funny.
- finally went for a run today. it's sad how one can work so hard in the gym for half a year, really make some great progress, and then in a few weeks of bangers and mash and cheese and indecent amounts of beer and other alcohols - throw it all away. very saddening.

any suggestions on what i should do with my free time from 21 oct to 2 nov? i was thinking london -> paris -> prague -> amsterdam -> maybe florence/rome -> london? give me some thoughts because i'm struggling!

hope you're all well! by the way, i can't believe that most of us are going to be starting to - gasp - work! as doctors, no less! am i the only one who is feeling just slightly nervous about the whole thing?

i am still tom hanks

i am tom hanks. this time at the end of castaway. standing at the crossroads. there is silence and i am alone, apart from the wind and the slow bears of thoughts. where do i go? where do these roads lead, as they stretch to infinity? in my mind i smell a perfume. a thousand memories wash over me. in the distance - a blurred hint of movement. a red pick up truck. to take me away, somewhere.

a few pics

the london eye.
statues depicting salvador dali's artwork along the south bank of the thames.

the county hall, a magnificent building. now the marriot hotel.
the english countryside. beautiful. kind of like home, in a way.

king's college hospital. and a mobile mri scanner unit. crazy! "don't come to us! we'll come to you!"
the view from my room. what a gorgeous day!

third week in london

sorry it's been a while since i've posted anything up!

highlights:
- kiwi comedy night. absolutely hilarious! and getting drunk with matthew (on hoegaardens and leffe blondes, nothing less!)
- getting drunk with my cousin while eating at this amazing sri lankan restaurant, which is right in the middle of london!
- chianti... yum
- meeting ilia and lola at heathrow on saturday. it was fantastic seeing them again! i wish they stayed for a week or two!
- watching the movie 'world trade center'. i was sceptical at first, was this going to be a 'america prevails despite everything. america rox!' movie? but no, it was actually really moving.
- natural history museum. i can't believe i forgot my camera when i went there! amazing displays of dinosaurs ('lifesize' replicas of diplodocus, t-rex, and my favourite - the breathtaking blue whale!). stunning stuff.
- tate modern gallery. wonderful modern art. i could have spent another 4 hours there. the 'poetry and dreams' section was very moving
- strongbow cider. yum
- metra - this r&b club jason and i discovered which goes off, even on a tuesday night!
- yes. jason c is in london town. so are nilofer and jin teoh. it's coo having kiwis around.
- ministry of sound on friday night. awesome!
- caiprinhas and mojitos
- the lovely feeling of sitting on the bus home after a big night out, and being drunk
- going to wales to visit my uncle and aunt, my two cousins and one of my cousins' nine-month-old son. lots of things learnt about marriage, kids, and especially family.

lowlights:
- you know what.
- feeling like sh*t on sunday. then deciding 'stuff this, i'm going out'. ten steps outside my house, and it starts to f*ckin hail. yes. hail. huge chunks of ice pounding me back inside. spectacular chumpage on a meteorological scale.
- it's been a really tough week
- best friends leaving nz, further compounding the tom hanks effect
- the lowlights outweigh the highlights by far